Everything you want to know about DIY masturbation

"Lube up well and enjoy!"

I don't necessarily have an unhealthy fascination for masturbation, at least not more than I care to admit, but it remains an interesting subject to say the least. It's easy to refrain to simple jokes in this matter, but I wouldn't want to beat around the bush too much. That is why I did some personal research into male masturbation (sorry ladies) and contacted an inspiring figure in the world of pleasure pertaining to the penis.

His name is Mr. Fefe (not his real name) and he is the founder and owner of the (in)famous website buildavagina.com. In an exclusive interview done by yours truly he reveals the secrets of the trade and the reasons behind building a website that is mainly concerned with reproducing the female genitalia.


Why the website?
"It is a simple fact that most men masturbate. I can’t give you the figures but I am sure that they exist if you care to look for them. I would be shocked to my core if it is less than 90% and very surprised if it is less than 95%. Surely it is higher? Men will masturbate even when they have regular sex with a partner. The biological imperative to reproduce requires that the man is ready and able to perform as soon as an opportunity presents itself. Our hormones produce a sex drive and an urge that allows us to do this if all is functioning as it should. In the heat and excitement of a new relationship it is possible to exhaust this urge naturally through regular love making (yes I’m old fashioned like that). That is fine but how many days, weeks, months of our life to we actually spend in that happy sated state? The basic sex drive may ebb and flow but is usually there and must be released somehow. I say ‘must’ but this is of course not strictly true. It is possible to abstain, and there may be a certain psychological buzz to be had from doing this, but the body will still give you that release naturally if you wait long enough (anyone had a wet dream lately?) Most men simply choose to release the pressure on their own terms, which is where masturbation comes in.

Fine, men masturbate. This is known but not really discussed openly. My personal view on this is that the ‘taboo’ comes down to basic biology and social status. If a man is ‘getting it’ 3 times a day then he is either one hell of a man or simply a lucky bastard. Either possibility is good for his prospects. Even though we know that most men masturbate, to admit to masturbating yourself is basically saying that you are NOT ‘one hell of a man’. Such an admission would be highly risky in most male societies where competition is rife and dominance leads to wider social success and ultimately more opportunities to have sex with a partner. This may not worry enlightened and emotionally mature individuals but that doesn’t alter the real or perceived risk. If things change it will be very slow. Obviously, it is now more socially acceptable for women to talk about their ‘sex toys’. In biological terms what have they got to lose? All it means is that they have not found a man who can satisfy them to the point of not needing a sex toy (leaving aside that sex toys can be used together). Stating this publically is hardly going to affect their chances in finding a mate.

So, why build a website that helps men with their masturbation? What sort of man would do such a thing? Pure altruism? I still chuckle to myself when I consider that, technically, I am in the sex industry. Me! A happily married middle-aged, middle management professional from Manchester with absolutely no history of getting involved in the ‘seedier’ side of life. And that is the point. I don’t see my website as seedy. I deliberately went about building something that was not vulgar or exploitative and that did not cater for the lowest common denominator. I am an educated man. I don’t believe that you need to be a teenager or puerile to be interested in this subject. Unfortunately, as you will see, this approach is somewhat at odds with one of the core purposes of the site. 

It's a fucking cucumber

A couple of years back the credit crunch and economy caught up with me. I found myself with time on my hands. I needed money and I needed a few new skills. Learning how to build and manage a website would be something that could help me in the future. I asked myself what industries made money. Sex and drugs came to mind but these are either illegal or immoral and it turns out that I am a deeply moral man. I asked the question, ‘are any parts of the sex industry non-exploitative?’ I considered terms like ‘ethically sourced free range porn’ (thanks to the TV show ‘Fresh Meat’ for that one). The only thing I could think of was masturbation. Certain Christian fundamentalists may not agree with me but I see masturbation as normal and healthy. I developed the following objectives.

1.            Make money
2.            Learn how to build and manage a website
3.            Have fun

I intended to make money from advertising but had no knowledge or experience of how this worked. You can teach yourself almost anything by referring to the web these days and so I slowly built up the skills needed for the website. Fun …. I wasn’t expecting it but actually it was. It was huge fun. As a teenager I experimented in reproducing the feeling of having sex with a real woman. As a young man I didn’t get as much of the real thing as I would have liked (which young men do?) and now as a married man I definitely don’t. I had bought some cheap commercial artificial vaginas previously, with mixed results, and had messed about with homemade vaginas.

Making your own artificial vagina is a challenge to get right. It takes imagination and creativity to use the materials around you or to design something and then go and source the materials. Men like challenges. Walking through the supermarket and looking at everyday products with your ‘builder’ hat on is great fun. Wondering whether the checkout lady can spot what your eclectic mix of items are for is also interesting, and unnerving when you realise that you have unconsciously arranged them in a certain way on the conveyer belt. 

Meet the Tunnel of Love

It is this stimulation of the big head that makes homemade artificial vaginas so much fun. The truth is that I have never got one to match the authentic feel of a commercial artificial vagina like a Fleshlight, although some have come close, but that is not the point. Not everyone has the money or the inclination to purchase one. Anyone can have a go at making their own.

I decided to build a website around this subject. Giving detailed instructions and principles to help people get on the right track or to inspire their own creativity. When I researched the market I found lots of people doing something similar but their content was utter rubbish. Their advice often had no chance of working and sometimes it was positively dangerous. It’s sole purpose was to drive traffic in and then on to the advertising. I decided to take a different approach. I give solid content and information to people who want that information. The irritating thing is that, although I have great page ranking, I know that the ‘junk’ websites are probably making good money while I barely cover my costs. But that is OK because I found another job and I only do this as a hobby. Basically my objectives have been reversed. Fun, website stuff, and then money."