I may have discovered the meaning of life

The jump from death to life is easily made. At least in terms of antonyms. The actual thing still has to happen, not including the kiss of life. The two are intricately connected so that when you say the one thing, you also imply the other. Nothing new here, but when thinking about death the question 'what the fuck do I want to do with my life?' automatically pops up.

There's not a bucket list of things I want to do before I die. I mean I can probably think of some things, but for me the most important thing would be social connection. It probably relates to fear as well, because my biggest fear is isolation.

But what is also related to that, and which is probably a more positive perspective, is love. Now I don't want to get into the very essence of love, because I don't think I would be able to put my finger on it. But what it means to me is having a connection to someone else through a bond of trust and understanding. That is what I am looking for.

So, in my recent existence as a bachelor I at first anticipated an onslaught of sexual (and shallow) adventures, but it didn't happen. I doesn't mean that I have lost my desire for physical contact with the opposite sex, or the same sex (it's still a work in progress I guess), but I don't want it to end there.

What a bliss it is to just cuddle and kiss and it may sound stupid, because other people may know this already for years and years, but as I grow older I seem to need this more and more. Maybe it's just that I am better able to express myself over the years and make sure that I get what I want, or maybe I mistook this desire for an enormous libido in the past.

Whatever the reason is, I feel this is universal and applies not only to me. Some might say that love is an illusion and probably a leftist invention that masks the true nature of sex or whatever. And they may be right, love may be an invention, but that's the great thing about being human. You can come up with an abstract notion, like love and believe in its existence and even make your whole life orbit around this particular concept. Because why not?

All the meanings and beliefs that are attached to it, actually make it meaningful. We don't come into this world with a set of rules, at least not in my book, and that's why we have to be careful with what we say and do. We create the world around us, both literally and in spirit, but there's always the danger of crisis.

Restraints, assumptions and a lack of trust and good faith cause crises. But only creativity can overcome these. Learn to understand what you want and don't wait or hesitate to get it. It's about finding a way. That's what I try to do. I think I start to appreciate that others want the same thing as I do and that we can only do it together.

So perhaps creativity is closely knit to love, because the latter concept is so fluid we have to constantly think about how we apply it to the world around us. How do we express love? There are conventions, but some things cannot be explained and in those cases only your guts can guide you.